The Trouble Is, You Think You Have Time

The the COVID pandemic hit, I suddenly found myself with all the time I needed right there on my hands.  I sprung into action.  I began to purge closets and storage areas. I went through old papers and unworn clothes.  I bagged up stuff I didn't need, hadn't used in forever and put it all aside ready for donation.

Then they closed all the charitable organizations.

I thought, okay, now is the time to read, to write and to pursue my photographic passions.  I read several books.  I wrote letters, blogs, poems.  I pulled out my memoir and began jotting down notes, updating some chapters that were written long ago.  I created topic files and noted subjects to include.

Then the world began to unravel.  Not only a virus sweeping the world and wreaking havoc across our homeland, but political unrest, protests and the seemingly inevitable looting and rioting.  

I heard someone describe this as "COVID brain".   Its when your ear is to the ground all the time, listening for the next vibratory alert.  Its when you can't seem to escape the constant feeling of dread and despair.  It's not being able  to concentrate on anything for very long.   It's not wanting to go out and risk exposure, wearing a mask and being frustrated by the other madness of science deniers and selfish self-centered people who don't like being inconvenienced.  Like I do?

It's true.  The trouble is you think you have time.   I remember thinking that before the world turned  upside down in March.  And I remember thinking that early on as we were shut in and shut down.  But it is not true.  You don't have time.  Time is not something you have.  The time, my friends, is now.  And that is why I am writing this, and why I am feeling motivated once again, because if I don't do it now, when?   When?

To carpe diem has never been more important.

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