 1955 Ford Thunderbird like the one I had when I was four years old Some memories haunt you all your life. You never know when they will be revisited, but when they are, your reaction changes over time they say. But this one, well, I still feel like a helpless little boy sometimes, like when the bully from down the street stole my prize possession. And although I was about five or six at the time, it was may fault. I was careless.
I've always loved model cars. When I was a kid, I had tons of them. They were built to scale and every detail was molded of plastic to look exactly like the real thing. It was the 1950s and cars still had style. Designs changed each year and seemed more beautiful than the year before. I'd save up or earn the two dollars they cost at SS Kresge, the five and dime store in Detroit that preceded K-Mart. It would take forever to make up my mind which little car I wanted to "drive" home. One of my favorites was of the 1955 Ford thunderbird. The '55 was the first T-Bird produced and in my humble opinion, is still a head turner today. Anyway, I truly cannot remember how the little cream colored model came into my possession, but I suspect it was a birthday gift from my grandmother. It was one a the few "boy" sort of things I showed interest in, so I am sure she wanted to support it. In '55 I would have been four or so, it doesn't surprise me that I wasn't always conscious of the evils of the world. I remember I was playing on the sideway in front of our house on Centralia in Redford. It began to rain and my mother called for me to come inside. So I "parked" my little car by the curb and did as told. The rain was pretty light, but at four if your mom wants you inside, you have to stay inside. I wanted to go retrieve my toy, so I stood at the glass door and watched for the rain to subside. Suddenly I saw a couple of the bigger boys from down the street walking by. One of the spied the car and picked it up. I ran out into the rain, shouting, "That's mine!!" They turned and laughed and just continued walking. I was frozen in the now pouring rain. My mother appeared behind me and dragged my back into the house. To this day, I can still see the car sitting there at the curb. I still feel all the anger a four-year-old could have felt. Regret, fear, sadness. They often wash over me even today, just not as intense I suppose. I was in an antique store yesterday and saw the model pictured above. I decided I had to have it. It was reasonably priced, too. The shop is in the process of liquidating. I had no cash on me, so I asked the shop owner if he took credit cards. For some reason I found myself telling him the story of that day in the rain so long ago. He listened with deep interest. When I finished, I said I was ready to pay. He smiled, and over my protests, told me to take the little car. He wanted me to have it. Above my protests, he put it into a bag and handed it to me. My heart swelled. Sixty-three years later, a bit of solace came. It is not an "original" produced in '55, but close enough. I love it all the same and now, when I look at it, I can remember that rainy day and forgive myself for being careless....but not sure I can forgive that jerk who took it. Some righteous outrage is just something you kept tucked away to remind you to be careful, mindful that world is not always that kind. And that what goes round, comes round like the wheels on little model cars.
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 Plumerias are among my favorite flowers. I might as well tell you. I hope you won't be too disturbed. I'm going to Hawaii. Yes, it's been in the works for sometime. It was a very special gift for my birthday. And it wasn't even a milestone birthday or anything like that. It was a "for all you do" and "because you're a good friend" sort of thing. If you know me, you know who, but I don't usually reveal my sources, so remember that when I talk about you! Anyway, Monday I'm island-bound. Aloha and all that stuff. The scent of plumeria, gardenias, volcanoes and beaches. I am visiting the Big Island, so there is adventure in store! I actually am looking forward to it in spite of my usual anticipatory angst and worry. LOL. I don't know why, but I always get a bit anxious just before a trip. But you know what, I'm gonna start calling it what it probably really is: excitement! Yay me! Note: I intend to keep up the blogging. I'm going for a consistency award or something like it. I'm told the internet is quite slow in the islands, (like most things, I think), so we'll see how that goes. In the meantime, anticipation in making me wait. Aloha! ************************************* Anticipation: not just for ketchup anymore!!  I'll bet you are wondering why I almost missed tonight and that would be natural.
Owing you an explanation, here goes: I was minding my own business. I did a little of this and some of that. I had a coffee and toast with an out of town guest who used my guest room while attending some business activities in town. We had dinner and a lovely visit last evening and this morning we started the day with lively chat over coffee and toast. Usually my morning companions are Ching and MIg, and quite frankly, I never know for sure what they are thinking other than "walk", "dinner", "sleep" and "pet me." So needless to say, it was a refreshing change. After my friend left, I did indeed walk the dogs before getting ready to go to a doctor appointment. All is good. I had an eczema outbreak on my hands, so I needed some advice plus I had some other minor issues to chat with about. My doctor, I love her. She is bright, witty and takes her time with all her patients. So when she's "running behind", that is okay, because I know I will get more than my allotted five minute drive by exam. After that, I went to lunch with another dear old friend who is thinking about selling her home and moving into some sort of senior living place. I'm her power of attorney person and executor of her Will. That in itself is quite a responsibility, even if so far I haven't had to do much. She is alert and still pretty self-sufficient. So we talked about it and she is going to look around. Those places can be pricey and of course you wanna make the right decision. After that, I came home. Having had a Marie Callendar special burger with carnitas and jalopeno lunch special followed by blueberry cream pie (it was included), I really needed a nap. So I napped. That was followed by some reading, watering outside and watching Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert from last night. So, yes, you might wonder why I'm telling you all this. I know it sounds so very exciting and you can see why I would get lost in all the activity and excitement. And that's just it! It's because of that I almost missed writing my blog today. And I have been on a roll...consistent even....so I sat down to write it, and this is what came out. Almost missed, but here it is. My blog! Good night.  View to the west southwest from my house Fires still rage nearby. Smoke is moving in overhead. I feel trepidation. It could happen here. It's about 1pm and outside it is growing dark. It feels a bit like doom is coming.
The likelihood of the fire reaching my neighborhood is allegedly slim. I am expected an out of town guest for the night. I resisted the impulse to call her and say don't come. But no doubt she is already here fulfilling some obligations and commitments. I flash on the possibility we could be evacuating together. And then I shake it off. Go on with your day. Write a blog or two. Take a shower and get ready for my friend's arrival. Then I think I should probably fill the car with gas. Just in case. I can't imagine those in imminent danger, what they are feelings right now as they rush to gather treasured items, pets, children and more...if they are given the chance. But then I can imagine...and it is downright scary. And here I sit. Thank goodness for those who are fighting the good fight on all of our behalves.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellowstone_fires_of_1988 Old Fire. Image labeled for re-use Where I live here is So Cal the skies are full of smoke from a not too distant fire. And we are not alone. The hills are burning. And along with it, homes, buildings, vehicles, animals wild and domestic, and, yes, people; people who couldn't escape in time, people fighting the flames and people who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
From one end of the state to the other, and all across the western United States, fires are wiping out that which sustains us. The forest, the flora and the fauna, all disappearing into an atomic shaped cloud. There is no rhyme or reason to this. Some try to explain it as God's wrath from the sins of humankind. Others see it as retribution for policies that block uncontrolled growth and the permanent loss of virgin wilderness. Is that what we should have done? Sacrificed the virgin? I don't think there is any merit in affixing blame to any one source. This is the culmination of years of bickering and the continued emergence of polarization. We don't hear each other any more. We don't seem to be able to work together to find the way forward...that is a way forward to save our planet and save ourselves. It seems we are just gonna burn baby burn. Since its arrival in early July with temps hitting 118 degrees and above, daytime high temps have not dipped much below 90. It would appear, I fear, this is the new norm. I am really feeling a bit helpless, and some despair over this and so many things that are going on in our homeland these days. Not surprising I suppose. But truly, I do believe that this too shall pass. There is always the peak of the mountain we climb, but sometimes it leads to tranquil plateau, sometimes another mountain or other times, to a downhill course. What I hope we come to remember is that we are all in this together. One human family. So why is it, it is so hard for us all to just get along? End of rant. Thanks for reading.  Pay attention to what you love. What is it you love? Really, stop, think about it: do you remember as you focus so many big and little things? What is it you love to do? What attracts your attention most? What do you find you give your attention to or would like to give your attention to? That last question might be something you want to pay some serious attention to. Because whatever you give your attention to, is what probably matters most to you. You may not love it or them or whatever, but bottom line, it is very important to you. I found myself thinking about that today and found myself giving a full attention to things, while important and necessary, were not the things I really loved to do. They are definitely important to others in my life and perhaps even in the world in general. occupational, political, emotional, all sorts of things. Things I give myself over to while forsaking the things I think I love. Tough question. What is it that you love? What brings your heart joy, your soul peace, your funny bone a giggle? Are you focussing on those things? I know people who seem to be doing just that. They amaze and make me wonder why I cannot do the same. Funny thing is, I can. I just have to say "yes." So what brought all this up, you may ask. Go ahead, ask. Well, I'll tell you. It is now going on 10pm here on the west coast. It has been a hot and muggy day. There is a new fire blazing nearby in the Trabuco Canyon. The evening sky was filled with smoke and even with all the windows and doors closed, I can still feel the irritation in my eyes. Life is short, I thought. Why let things I have no control over control me? Then, as I got ready to go to bed, I realized I hadn't written my blog of thoughts and musings. And I really love doing that. I love to write. But for some reason its the last thing I do. Perhaps. But I knew I wanted to do it, so here it is, and this is what came out. Now isn't that just something? So one more time, what is it you love? Pay attention to it...now. What you pay attention to, persists. It is prudent then, to pay attention to that which you love to do, to experience, to be. And so there you have it. Love, they say, is always the answer. You just need to ask the right question.  Sometimes I feel like I grew up in another time, another place. Well, sort of, I guess I did. I grew up in Michigan. We were close enough to farm country that it wasn't practical to start school until after Labor Day. Kids were needed not far from where I lived to help with the harvest. Or so we were told. Nowadays those farms are shopping malls, subdivisions or big box stores. So I guess the after Labor Day rule doesn't apply in Michigan any more than it does here in Southern California. But starting school on the 6th of August? That seems so like rushing it. I get the idea that if the semester starts earlier, it will end before the winter holiday break. Then the new semester can start in January and there is no earning gap per se. Makes sense, I guess. It just seems like we rush everything these days. Stores start stocking Christmas/Hanukkah/Festivus gifts and decor before Labor Day. spring apparel debuts in February. Valentine's appear the day after New Year's. And so forth and yada yada. Was it always so? And isn't is funny how we act as if summer begins Memorial Day in May, when there's still a month before the summer solstice in June and that summer ends Labor Day when it really doesn't end until later at the autumnal equinox? Why the heck do we bother with those when we just arbitrarily start and end summer whenever we feel like? And while I'm ranting, don't get me started on daylight savings time, campaign or TV show "seasons", or for that matter sports seasons like basketball, baseball, football and the like that all overlap each other and seem to last forever, stop a day or two, and then start again. Whatever happened to clear demarkation of time and temperature? Okay, I guess I'm getting carried away. It's just how life is these days. No time honored traditions that can't be adjusted to suit our needs. Wear white when you will. Drink hot apple cider in July and lemonade in December. Its all as you like it. And really, I guess that's okay. As an old curmudgeon, I will just remember the old days and go with the flow. Happy back to school. I suddenly have the urge to buy new pencils, notebooks and maybe a nifty red backpack. Click below for a very old tune that is still timely today in so many way! !! Enjoy!! The lyrics appear below that! Anything Goes
by Cole Porter (I had no idea it was so long!) Times have changed And we've often rewound the clock Since the Puritans got a shock When they landed on Plymouth Rock. If today Any shock they should try to stem 'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock would land on them. In olden days, a glimpse of stocking Was looked on as something shocking. But now, God knows, Anything goes. Good authors too who once knew better words Now only use four-letter words Writing prose. Anything goes. If driving fast cars you like, If low bars you like, If old hymns you like, If bare limbs you like, If Mae West you like, Or me undressed you like, Why, nobody will oppose. When ev'ry night the set that's smart is in- Truding in nudist parties in Studios. Anything goes. When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her) Can get Russian reds to "yes" her, Then I suppose Anything goes. When Rockefeller still can hoard en- Ough money to let Max Gordon Produce his shows, Anything goes. The world has gone mad today And good's bad today, And black's white today, And day's night today, And that gent today You gave a cent today Once had several chateaux. When folks who still can ride in jitneys Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys Lack baby clo'es, Anything goes. If Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction Instruct Anna Sten in diction, Then Anna shows Anything goes. When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up Now turns a handspring landing up- On her toes, Anything goes. Just think of those shocks you've got And those knocks you've got And those blues you've got From that news you've got And those pains you've got (If any brains you've got) From those little radios. So Missus R., with all her trimmin's, Can broadcast a bed from Simmons 'Cause Franklin knows Anything goes. Songwriters: Cole Porter Anything Goes lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, IncAnything Goes Cole Porter Times have changed And we've often rewound the clock Since the Puritans got a shock When they landed on Plymouth Rock. If today Any shock they should try to stem 'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock would land on them. In olden days, a glimpse of stocking Was looked on as something shocking. But now, God knows, Anything goes. Good authors too who once knew better words Now only use four-letter words Writing prose. Anything goes. If driving fast cars you like, If low bars you like, If old hymns you like, If bare limbs you like, If Mae West you like, Or me undressed you like, Why, nobody will oppose. When ev'ry night the set that's smart is in- Truding in nudist parties in Studios. Anything goes. When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her) Can get Russian reds to "yes" her, Then I suppose Anything goes. When Rockefeller still can hoard en- Ough money to let Max Gordon Produce his shows, Anything goes. The world has gone mad today And good's bad today, And black's white today, And day's night today, And that gent today You gave a cent today Once had several chateaux. When folks who still can ride in jitneys Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys Lack baby clo'es, Anything goes. If Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction Instruct Anna Sten in diction, Then Anna shows Anything goes. When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up Now turns a handspring landing up- On her toes, Anything goes. Just think of those shocks you've got And those knocks you've got And those blues you've got From that news you've got And those pains you've got (If any brains you've got) From those little radios. So Missus R., with all her trimmin's, Can broadcast a bed from Simmons 'Cause Franklin knows Anything goes. Songwriters: Cole Porter Anything Goes lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc It's getting late on this a Saturday night. There was a time I might have found myself putting on my platform dancing shoes and Angel Flight slacks, getting ready to head out for a night at the disco. Yes, I used to go to the clubs and dancing my tush off, all the while hoping to meet "the one". But that never happened and a 2am I'd trudge to my car and drive home...along...and go to bed, my clothes reeking of smoke and alcohol, even though I didn't smoke and usually had nursed a Michelob Lite or Black Russian all evening. Such a swinger I was. Sometimes I feel like its getting late, as in, too late to do anything about anything. I wonder if maybe you ever feel this way? This is related to the forgoing reminiscence only in the fact the hope seems to spring eternal for me. Even now if someone asked me to head out to the dance club, I'd probably at least consider going. And yes, I would probably even briefly entertain the fantasy that I would meet "the one" and fall in love and the whole nine yards. But these days, that would quickly pass I fear. I tend to be disheartened these days by all the madness going on since the 2016 election. No matter what side you are on, you have to admit, if you are being honest and real, that it's hard to be an optimist these days. And that is why I wonder if it is really as late as I think? Is there any hope of getting through this as in "this too shall pass."? But of course, this too shall pass. We will move on, persevere and find yet another shiny object to attract our magpie minds. Geez, I am sounding cynical. Am I? Are you? I truly hope this, as with all the nadirs of eras past, will truly pass; that too much damage will not have been done and we can all remember we are one big human family. Below is a song sung as a commercial for Coke. Funny thing, I always thought it was possible to buy the world a Coke and keep it company...its the real thing. I often find myself not doing something because I know it won't be perfect. Or, if I do attempt doing it, I find myself getting frustrated, maybe even pitching a tantrum and abandoning the whole enterprise. In illustration, I was trying to create something special for someone special earlier this evening. The first print was the wrong size. The second printed out on the wrong side. The third was smudged. Finally the fourth was "good enough". And in actuality, had I not seen the first three iterations, it would have been close to perfect. It's times like these I finally become grounded again in reality. Perfection is an illusion. It really doesn't exist. If it did, it would never survive because it would simply transfigure itself to the next level of existence. So that's my healthy outlook tip for today. When you are writing the great American novel, you will never get it "just right" if you don't "just write". And that can be applied to whatever one is doing at any particular time. The hibiscus pictured here was in my wonderful Ann's garden last spring. I don't imagine it suffered getting itself perfect. It just was without trying!   Its been nine, count 'em, nine, weeks since I wrote a blog...wrote much of anything. I've been busy, distracted, uninspired, inspired but lazy, procrastinating...well, you get the picture. It just hasn't been in....well...a priority? No, that's not exactly it. A necessity? Some might say not, but, truly, it think it is for me. A regular writing practice is imperative for any writer. So what is it?
Distracted. Energy drained. Out of gas. Perhaps. Probably it all boils down to this: discipline. Its a reduction sauce of what's left when you simmered the ingredients in your roux, the clarified butter with a pinch of flour. You take it down until what you have left is a savory sauce to make your dish tasty. That's what I've been doing! Making a roux! So that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Like a roux. And I shall not rue the day. Lets call t this sort of sabbatical. I was studying. That's the ticket. At least that's the best explanation I can come up with. But sabbaticals end...unless they turn into retirements or something like that. Not from writing...no, I'm not there yet. Hope I never will be. In the last nine weeks I have been elsewhere. I house-sat in Santa Barbara couple times, drove an elderly couple up to Orcas Island in the Puget Sound. I've tried to cope with the excessive heatwave here is Southern California, finding energy and stamina in short supply. I've even written some on my two memoirs I've been working on for, what, nine years! Maybe there's something in the number nine? The Bible numerology code number 9. Most of the religions maintain numbers carry hidden meanings which are supposed to carry the secrets of universe. ... It is also the number of man and depicts gestation which is also a period of nine months. It is the number of hierarchy; it representednine choruses of angels.The Bible numerology code number 9 - AstroVera.comwww.astrovera.com/bible-religion/190-bible-number-9.html That's as good reason as any. LOL So here goes. Let me blog again! And perhaps the results will have been worth the wait! |
Rob McMurray,
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