Okay, to start with, It's vs its is just not easy to remember.  It's is the constraction of it is or it has.  Its is the possessive for something belonging to it whatever "it" is.  Easy?  No way, because I do have to look it up quite frequently, but maybe now that I've written this down here, maybe I will remember...?

Now that that's out of the way, I was thinking about how some many things seem so easy until you actually try to do them.  Keeping a discipline like writing a blog...that seems so easy.  But, really, it is not.  It's not easy at all, except when it is.   I know those statements seems to contradict each other, but, sorry to say, that is just how it is.

It's easy to come up with ideas.  But writing them down, well, sometimes that is not so easy.  I sit down, I face the blank page, I wait.  The words won't come.  The blank page is so beautiful i its own strange way.  Unspoiled, untouched.  Pure.  Clean.  Who am I so spoil that?   Then somehow I shake those feelings off and begin.  And sometimes the words just tumble out, spilling onto the page.  Do they make sense?  Are they laid out properly?  Somehow, I never know until I am done.  And sometimes not even then.  Usually it's when someone reads what I've written and gives me feedback.  That's when I know.  It's that easy, or just that hard. 

I don't usually get political on my blog, but tonight I think this might border on a political rant.  Maybe not.  I'm kinda skeptical about it.  And that's what concerns me.  I just finished watching and listening to the State of the Union Address by our currently sitting President of the United States.  I truly like the man.  I think he is a good, good man.  I think he has faced incredible odds during his six years and counting in office.  It seems to me that when the opposition party declares from day one that their sole goal is to keep the newly elected by the people President from getting anything done.  Amazingly they did not succeed, even though we don't hear much about his accomplishments...of which there are many.


But that is not what I feel like ranting about.  In fact, I don't really want to rant.  I just want to know something.  When does a "healthy skepticism" become a "jaded ennui?"  Don't get me wrong.  I feel inspired every time I hear Barack Obama speak.  He has a way.  I am sure it comes from being a professor and former community organizer.  He in charismatic...even with his long pauses and um's here and there.  He knows how to express himself and people do listen.

But I am skeptical when it comes to thinking he will ever realize his potential, get the things done he intends to, without the opposition party sabotaging him.  But again, that is not what I want to go into here.  My musings are about this nagging feeling of ennui, of being so disenchanted with The System, that I check my enthusiasm at the door.  I hate when I think to myself or say out loud, its all madness and nothing will ever change.

That's what is bugging me tonight after listening to, and being inspired by, what the POTUS had to say tonight as I was equally disgusted by the signs of disrespect and disdain by his opposition.  Civility is dead?  Compromise is impossible?  This is nothing new, sad to say.  And yet, when I turn off the TV tonight, I will most likely still think there is a chance....a slim one...but a chance we can get it together as a country and move forward.

End of rant.  

Martin Luther King, Jr had a dream.  It was a dream for all mankind.  It inspired him climb the lofty heights seeking justice and equality.  On this day we set aside to honor him near the date of his birth, it is impossible not to think of him as an American hero.  He was willing to, and finally did, give his life in pursuit of his dream of the promised land.

I look at my life and I cannot say I have had such a dream to inspire me to do great things like Dr. Kind did.  In fact, I would say my life has been rather mundane in many ways.  I few times I have actually been "spurred to action."  I marched on Washington in 1993 and demonstrated against Proposition 8 here in California.  I vote.  That can be a radical act.  Dr King fought for the right to vote for every American citizen.  Not voting would be a slap in the face to him, I believe.

As I was saying, though, I cannot think of a time I ever was truly inspired to rouse myself from what is probably a bit of complacency, or was it fear or doubt?  I don't know.  I truly admire men like Dr King.  He, like many other men and women heroes, rose up on behalf of the oppressed and disenfranchised.  I hold them up in awe.

Yet, another thought, though.  Sometimes by quietly living a life of integrity and truth, one can make a difference.  Perhaps that is where folks like me come in.  I recognize how privileged I have been to be born a white male in America with a modicum of wealth and security.   I also know it could vanish at any moment.  I like to think I am open and affirming of most and actively love freely.  For me, it is being grateful for all I have and being able and willing to share with others that makes my dream come true.

I guess my dream and Dr King's aren't that far apart.  And because of him, I believe I am a better person.  I would only hope there are one or more who might say the same of me someday.

Day 16 of the New Year is just about over.  I find it very disconcerting how quickly the enthusiasms of the New Year fade.  The blank slate gets covered with Great Intentions and perhaps even a few Pipe Dreams. And somewhere as those fall off or fade, the slide back into what led you to where you might have started.  And yet, there is always that underlying feeling that if you just fend off the little nigglers that distract you from your dreams and schemes, it really can happen.

I have been off to a good start and its time to get back on track.  Things like writing this blog, working with creating photo  images,  and jettisoning those things that simply drain without giving back...I was on track.  Still am, just need to remember what I'm about.

It's a good feeling.  To create, to be recognized and supported.  It's possible, it happens ...especially when you least expect it.  That, my friends, is what I am discovering in 2015.  It is something I suspected, but never really truly embraced.  The time has come.  The time is here.  And just as they faded, the enthusiasms of the New Year return and the Great Intentions and Pipe Dreams are resurrected.  And so it goes...

One of the great lies we tell ourselves is that there will always be time...time to do all the things we want to do, we need to do and we have to do.  There will always be enough time to exercise and eat right.  There will always be enough time to travel.  Time, my friend, is not, I repeat, not, always on our side.

When you think about it, time is a man-made construct developed to help us keep track of our daily lives and responsibilities.  It really doesn't exist.  We write dates and appointments down on calendars so we know when to show up for things, but we forget to show up for ourselves, and for those we cherish in our lives.  The ultimate truth is, there is only now.  Now.  That's all there is.
If we don't live in the Now, we aren't really living.

That last sentence bears repeating: If we don't live in the Now we aren't really living.  This is true whether you are eating, drinking, having sex, taking out the garbage or writing a blog.  Now is all we have.  Be present.  It may seem like there is always time, but that's not really so.

****

This blog was inspired by the news that two people I know of are in critical situations, life and death I guess.  Knowing this makes me value the time I have been given and reminds me to keep them, and everyone, in my thoughts and prayers, while living my own truth...my own Now.