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On Dealing with Creative U-Turns

1/30/2014

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PictureI'm back!
You might be wondering where I've been...if indeed you noticed I haven't been blogging of late.    I guess you could say I have been lost in a vortex of paradoxical thinking.  Probably easier to describe it as a creative block.  I've allowed other priorities swirl around me much like a tempest in the proverbial teapot.  It is all very distracting and very comforting at the same time.  I say distracting, because it keeps me from doing what I think I really want to be doing.  I say comforting because it justifies not doing those things I say I love.  It is so easy to just blame others for my inability to do what I want to do.  Heaven forbid I should just say no to some things, drop some other things and focus on my alleged priorities.  I say alleged because if they truly were my priorities, wouldn't I be doing them?

And so the vortex swirls.  

Maybe this is not clear to you, but  I do know what I mean.  I really do.  And at the risk of being called a whiner, I really am torn.  I want to be a good guy.  I want to do good in the world.  So how do I convince myself that what I want to do, brings about good?  Is it really a conundrum, or could it be more likely an excuse?

I say the latter is probably true.

So there you have it.

I have always wanted to follow my muse, to be a "creative".   I have some talent in writing, in creating photo images and creating a warm and welcoming environment.  I enjoy doing these things.  When I do them, it feels like play.  And perhaps there is the rub.  Play is not part of the Puritan Ethic with which I was raised.  But by now, I should be over that.  Should being the operative and very judgemental word.  And I have come close many times.  And in those periods, I have felt very much alive.  

Then I take what Julia Cameron (Artist's Way) calls a creative u-turn.  A creative u-turn is what one does when he or she is experiencing his or her creative nature.  It scares them.  A creative u-turn is when you back away or avoid the next step in your creative journey.  Fear they say is the reason.  I suppose it is.  What have I to be afraid of?  Lord knows.  I just need to grab the wheel again and steer myself in the right direction.  

And so I will

Starting in February I will start blogging again. (Actually this may count as the start date).
I will do my Morning Pages -- the daily practice of writing three pages upon rising as a sort of mind dump, taming the monkey mind, etc.
I will take an Artist's Date --- a date with myself to do something personally inspiringly fun and insightful...a trip to a museum, a movie, a walk in the park.  Once a week.  These are done alone.  They are a date with my artist self.  

I am going to be accountable to myself.  And to you if you so inclined to hold me such.  I will try not be be testy.  LOL.  I just want get it together...again...and find out what I was meant to do.  

As so the journey re-starts again.

1 Comment
BETTE
1/30/2014 11:21:43 am

YOU SURE ARE HARD ON YRSELF AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE
JUST ASK ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS
BUT THEN IF YOU WRITE SOMETHING DOWN YOU MIGHT
BE MORE APT TO GET IT DONE WHO KNOWS? WELL THE
SHADOW KNOWS I THINK

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    Rob McMurray,
    Muser  

    I think of myself as a Muser Extraordinaire.  :)
    I am also a Writer, photographer and garden designer.  Friend, poet, paternal companion to my animal companions. And surely more.  This is my blog and my website where I share my musings and thoughts with anyone who cares to read them.

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