I have been retired eight years now. Yet even after that many years, I still wonder if I am getting this retirement thing "right". (Of course "rightness" is so subjective, I know, I have to keep mindful of what is "right" for me, right?) Some people say because I have remained active, involved in different things like photography and writing, my friend's estate sale business and, of late, travel, I am "rocking" it. I guess so, but that doesn't mean Monday mornings don't bring a little angst along with them.
I wake up thinking about how it is the beginning of another week. It is the 24th week of 2017. How did that happen? Seems we just started the new year, and now its almost half over! Madness.
Anyway, I always wonder if I should have accomplished more in the eight years since I retired. I retired with great expectations. I would write a memoir. I would find a hobby that satisfies and delights me. I would travel. And more. Some I have done, yet I still have this nagging critic inside my head that it not enough.
So I know its just an general malaise, the kind that is always lurking just below the surface. Sometimes I feel like I'm drifting down the river of my life, letting it take me wherever it so heads. But then I realize the oar to this raft is in my hands. As Henley's poem, Invictus, says at the end, "I am the master of my fate/ I am the captain of my soul." Amen. An empowering statement. Also one that brings responsibility for one's life back home.
So as the new week unfolds, I am keeping mindful of what is I want to be when I grow up. Or maybe the decision should be: do I really want to grow up?
Leave a Reply.