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At the End of the Day

1/18/2016

4 Comments

 
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I just paid a visit to an elderly friend and his wife.  Long overdue, but just in time as my friend has decided to take the final journey.  He has quit his dialysis and is waiting for the end to come.  Doctors say it should been within the week.  To look at him, he does not look like a dying man.  Yes, he was on oxygen.  Yes, he was a bit frail appearing.  But his eyes were bright.  He was alert and still cracking jokes and making witty remarks just as he always had.  A salesman to the end.  At 94, he was alive as anyone I know.  Probably more so.  And soon he will be gone.  

His dear wife of 41 years has been by his side through this. She has always loved and supported him through everything they have gone through in their lives.  Ane he, here.  Family triumphs and tragedies,  joys and sorrows.  Always there for each other and as always, they are taking this trip together, at least as far down the gangway as she is allowed.  At the end, he will go on.  She will wait to be called.  She told him he needs to prepare a small bungalow on a lake in heaven.  I small blue boat for fishing.  And a place for friends already there to visit and for those who will follow.  Parting will not be easy, but I have a feeling the bond between them will not be broken.

It was his decision after months and months of tubes and doctor visits and hospitalizations that it was time.  Gracefully.  While he was still fully present.  He made a list of people he wanted to say good-bye to.  She has been calling each.  And those that are able have gone by.   And will continue I am sure in the little time he has left.

I thought I was going to say a final goodbye. After an hour or so, I felt like I was saying more of bon voyage.  I felt bad I had brought no "gift", but there is little to give someone who is not taking any earthly belongings with him.  He is taking a piece of each our hearts though, which are light and quite portable.  And amazingly, he gave me a gift I will always treasure.  He gave me the best example of how to face the final days: directly with no tears.  It is merely a transition.  His peace became my peace.

At the end of the day, there is nothing greater one can do  than to be able to reflect on the good things your life has brought and be at peace with the inevitable.  As I left, I hugged him then put my hand of his shoulder.  "Have a good trip," I said.  "I will," he answered, then adding, " but I won't write.  Heavenly postiage is way too expensive."

At the end of the day, what more can one say or do?   


4 Comments
mickey dirand.gort
1/19/2016 07:28:18 am

You have done "Everything" already.

Reply
BETTE
1/19/2016 08:58:27 am

GOOD FOR YOU GOING TO SEE AL WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE TOO AT THE VERY END HE STILL HAD A
JOKE ABOUT POSTAGE TO HEAVEN YOUR SAYING GANGWAY EVOKES A MEMORY I CANNOT EXACTLY REMEMBR BUT IT GIVES ME A MIND'S EYE OF SEEING SOMEONE OFF AS THEY SAIL AWAY AND YOU CAN WAVE
GOOD-BYE NOT SADLY
SO YOU DID NOT ACCEPT THE FACT THAT AL DID NOT GET
ON THE PHONE TO PERSONALLY SAY GOOD0BY AND YOU
WENT IN PERSON THAT'S IS MY FRIEND ROB A PERSON WITH A GREAT HEART LET ME HEAR AN AMEN TO THAT
BB

Reply
Chris
1/20/2016 06:05:46 pm

Amen!!!!

Reply
Isabelle
1/27/2016 11:35:51 am

This is such a great subject to talk about. It happens to everyone, at least that's I've been told,but it seems like it doesn't,until it does. Then, so many of us are surprised, and so baffled by it. Death. Thank you for this great reminder of how precious human connection and love really is. The things that you CAN take with you are always invisible,but carry the most depth.

Reply



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    Rob McMurray,
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    I think of myself as a Muser Extraordinaire.  :)
    I am also a Writer, photographer and garden designer.  Friend, poet, paternal companion to my animal companions. And surely more.  This is my blog and my website where I share my musings and thoughts with anyone who cares to read them.
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