The city of Vancouver has passed an ordinance that all new construction, including private homes, install levers on all doors rather than doorknobs.  Imagine.  A house with no doorknobs.  I imagine that we would get used to it, but really, no doorknobs?  Well, I do know it is not that big a deal.  Levers actually are more usable for all people, especially those with physical disabilities.  I also imagine it will make it a lot easier for dogs and even cats to open doors...maybe doors they shouldn't, but that's beside the point.  

The potential of the demise of doorknobs (probably realistically not in any of our lifetimes) made me think about them as I never had before.  And since this is a blog about things we are grateful for, I realized I am grateful for doorknobs...at least for things like doorknobs.  I am grateful for the things that make our lives easier, better in some ways.  How else would we open doors?  With levers, I know.  Or perhaps pulls.  Or maybe just pushing them open and closed, lifting them up and out.  Bottom line here, I am grateful, I suppose, not just for doorknobs, but for the ingenuity and inventiveness of humankind.  Aren't we something?  

So, yes, I am grateful for plain old ordinary brass, glass, wood or ceramic doorknobs.  They may be ubiquitous, but an invention the creates a safer and more convenient life for us all, should be given its due.  Thank goodness for doorknobs.

Here is a link to the article about the new ordinance in Vancouver for your information:
http://www.salon.com/2013/11/21/vancouver_bans_doorknobs_partner/

Chaos?  Grateful for chaos?  Yep, that's what I'm sayin'.  I am grateful for chaos....not all the time...but once in a while.  Every once in a while the carpet needs to be pulled from under us.  Not to necessarily knock us down, but to shake us up...to shake us out of our complacency.  Chaos makes us think...well, I know it makes me think.  It is unsettling old ideas and beliefs that results in a sort of chaos of the spirit.  

Chaos.  It can be a blessing in disguise.  I can remember times I was feeling rather smug,  times when I thought I had it all figured out.  Then reality set it and I was plunged into the chaos of confusion and uncertainly.  It was the best thing that could have happened...each time it has happened.  And I expect it may happen again...although I like to think I have learned from it...at least enough to know that I don't know everything.  It fact the only thing I do know for absolute fact is, well, nothing is absolute or sure.  That is what living through chaos has done.  And for that, I am grateful.

A young friend posted on Facebook this morning that she hates life and for someone to f*** off.  I was astonished as this was one young lady I thought pretty much had it together.  I have no idea what prompted this statement, but I do know I have felt that way.  Coming for the other end of the age spectrum, I could only comment, "ooh. hands folded. experience has told me it does get better."  Not probably what she wanted to hear right then.  But what I hoped it communicated was, yes, it does suck once in a while.  But it really does get better....better with experience.  Life does go on.  It does drain you of every ounce of vital life energy you have sometimes, but, if you push through, it does get better.  Really.  If nothing else, experience has taught me that.

Here is why I am grateful for experience.   It has taught me that nothing lasts forever, not pain, not joy, not anger, not even passion.  What these things do, however, is morph into something else.  It is often called experience, but what it really is, is you.  You are your experiences.  Experience informs what you do everyday, every moment.  Without experience, we would be pure stimulus and response running around in a world that is nothing more than a flash in the pan.  We learn from our experiences.  And if we don't, well, we get to experience them again until one day we look up and realize that we are the sum total of our experiences and how we handle them.  

It is up to us every day to interpret  what life hands us to grow and to move on.  That is why we form relationships, participate in daily activities and reflect and dream.  It is up to us.  But we are not alone. So I say be grateful for whatever comes your way.  It is a lesson, whether it be pleasant or unpleasant, but it is yous to learn.  And let experience be the teacher it was meant to be.

"Former Friends".  That says it all.  Friends that are no longer friends in your current circle.  Friends though, that had a lot to do with forming who you are.  Friends, who although they are not longer in your life, taught you something about what it meant to be a friend in spite of no longer being your friend.  Former friends.

I am grateful for the friends who no longer are in my life for one reason or another.  I look back and know that I contributed to the end of the relationship.  These are people I spent a lot of time with.  We ran around together to the movies, bowling, plays, just hung out, whatever.  But then something changed.  Something that had been bothering them about me suddenly came to the fore.  It was enough for them to no longer want to be my friend.  It caught me by surprise. I won't say it didn't hurt.  But I also can't say I wasn't guilty of whatever way I had let them down.  Intentional or not, I had not been the friend they wanted.  And obviously they were not the friend I thought they were.

And that's okay.

People grow.  People change.  We evolve.  We get stuck.  But the amazing thing about former friends is just that: they are formers.  They formed a lot of who I am today. They taught me to be more aware of myself and how I come across.  I have to admit that in those relationships I was also guilty of tolerating things that I should not have.  That, too, is another lesson to be learned from former friends.  If something bugs you,  it should be addressed.  Often it hits on a nerve with yourself on something you do like about yourself.  That's a tough one...but an important one.  Awareness is the key.  And the willingness to learn.

That is why I am grateful for my former friends.  They were instrumental in the formation of my character and content today.  And truthfully, I still love them as if we were still close.  And somehow I like to believe, they feel the same.   Just not in the same room.