Chaos? Grateful for chaos? Yep, that's what I'm sayin'. I am grateful for chaos....not all the time...but once in a while. Every once in a while the carpet needs to be pulled from under us. Not to necessarily knock us down, but to shake us up...to shake us out of our complacency. Chaos makes us think...well, I know it makes me think. It is unsettling old ideas and beliefs that results in a sort of chaos of the spirit.
Chaos. It can be a blessing in disguise. I can remember times I was feeling rather smug, times when I thought I had it all figured out. Then reality set it and I was plunged into the chaos of confusion and uncertainly. It was the best thing that could have happened...each time it has happened. And I expect it may happen again...although I like to think I have learned from it...at least enough to know that I don't know everything. It fact the only thing I do know for absolute fact is, well, nothing is absolute or sure. That is what living through chaos has done. And for that, I am grateful.
A young friend posted on Facebook this morning that she hates life and for someone to f*** off. I was astonished as this was one young lady I thought pretty much had it together. I have no idea what prompted this statement, but I do know I have felt that way. Coming for the other end of the age spectrum, I could only comment, "ooh. hands folded. experience has told me it does get better." Not probably what she wanted to hear right then. But what I hoped it communicated was, yes, it does suck once in a while. But it really does get better....better with experience. Life does go on. It does drain you of every ounce of vital life energy you have sometimes, but, if you push through, it does get better. Really. If nothing else, experience has taught me that.
Here is why I am grateful for experience. It has taught me that nothing lasts forever, not pain, not joy, not anger, not even passion. What these things do, however, is morph into something else. It is often called experience, but what it really is, is you. You are your experiences. Experience informs what you do everyday, every moment. Without experience, we would be pure stimulus and response running around in a world that is nothing more than a flash in the pan. We learn from our experiences. And if we don't, well, we get to experience them again until one day we look up and realize that we are the sum total of our experiences and how we handle them.
It is up to us every day to interpret what life hands us to grow and to move on. That is why we form relationships, participate in daily activities and reflect and dream. It is up to us. But we are not alone. So I say be grateful for whatever comes your way. It is a lesson, whether it be pleasant or unpleasant, but it is yous to learn. And let experience be the teacher it was meant to be.
Rob McMurray, self described muser extraodinaire.