I hope you have noticed I failed to blog for days 19 and 20 because that means you may have been reading this blog until now. Now that I am at the halfway mark (one day past actually) it might be time to consider the meaning of giving up and how it has effected me.
I have to admit I have not just ignored the blog. I have actually been giving a lot of thought. Primarily I have wondered if I might have taken on a bit more than I could chew, as they say. Forty things in forty days to give up requires a lot of thought. I haven't exactly tried to give up the easy things people usually give up during Lent. I still eat chocolate and go to the movies and indulge in other food comforts. I even have been having a glass of wine in the evenings.
The point of giving things up during Lent, however, is to give up things that lead to personal reflection and internal contemplation. In other words, it is a time to realign yourself with God, the Great Spirit, the Universe or whatever you call it. And for me it has been a time to ponder the things that keep me from being the person I think I might be.
So if I were to summarize the journey so far, I would report that it has been more insightful at times than I would have thought. I have learned that I need to curb my tendency to preach or pontificate. When you get to be a certain age, you find you have a wide variety of experiences and insights into life that you might be bursting to share, but not everyone wants to hear them...to listen to your sage wisdom. (Being a bit ironic here. I wish were more of a sage and had a lot more wisdom at this point in my life).
Maybe that is the point. Maybe that is what I have learned doing these blogs during Lent. Giving up is surrendering. It is knowing that you don't know everything....and that you probably never will. It is learning to accept yourself and be open to growing. When I write my morning pages*, I usually end them with some gratitude to God or Spirit or the Maker of Us All. One thing I always am thankful for is another day, another chance to learn and to grow and to be the person I was meant to be. Some days, I actually think and feel I am getting closer.
*Morning Pages are an exercise I learned when I studied The Artist Way by Julia Cameron. The book is about recovering your artistic nature and Morning Pages are the place to dump all the negative thoughts and tapes and maybe plan your day, etc., before the day begins. I have found it to be personally beneficial and when I do them, the day see