I had a discussion with a friend who is starting his own blog today about the act of publishing a blog. Is it an act of ego? Is it some desire to call attention to onself? A search for meaning? Who are we to "force" our thoughts on an unsuspecting public? Let it happen organically, be discovered and attract people through algorhythms of internet. This conversation gave me pause. It touched on something I often think about when I write and then share these blogs. The question is: Why? Why blog? Why share it? Why do I do it? In other words, who cares?
Well, I had to wonder if I write these blogs out of some sort of hubris. Do I think I have something so important to say I need to share it with the world? As my blog from Day Seventeen talked about, nothing is important. If this blog disappeared tomorrow, I would miss doing it and I dare say, there are some folks who would miss reading it. But that cannot be the reason I do it. No, not really. So why?
I do it because I like to do it. Plain and simple. Sometimes it is easier than others. Some days I don't have a clue what to say. But I prattle on anyway. It is in nothing more, a good practice writing.
I do it also because I like to share my thoughts and feelings. Now this is where the question of why takes another turn. Is it my ego? Do I write down my thoughts and musing and publish them for the world to see because I think I am so very wise or insightful? Not really. I do like getting feedback. I do like hearing from people that they read my blog and actually got something out of it, even if was just a laugh or two. Deep down I really do believe I have something to say.
Why then turns to "why don't I promote the blog more?" Fear I suppose. What if the blog catches on? What if I develop a following beyond family and friends? I do put it on Facebook. Very few comment there. I do get comments via email and in person. But people are kind. Maybe I am afraid of not being liked, of being harshly criticized. Well, isn't that just how things are when you put yourself out there?
So why give up? Give up asking why and just go ahead. Sometimes there is no real "why" to things. Things just are. Like being important, some things just are. It is when we decide they are important or have to have some reason to be justified that we get into trouble. So there you have it, I will soldier on, just for the fun and the practice and the heck of it.
Now before you jump to conclusions, no, I am not giving up on my personal heritage's high holy day. I love St Patrick's Day. This year, it been a little on the low key side. Well, actually, I have't done anything in particular to observe the day other than think about it a lot and wear a spot of green.
So I think what I have given up this St Patrick's Day during this particular Lenten exercise, it expectations. Used to be I expected holidays like St Patrick's to have certain things done in certain ways. Corned beef and cabbage, Irish music, some soda bread or Irish Cream. Wearing green from head to toe and talking with an Irish lilt. I love all that, but it is not happening this year for some reason. Maybe I am getting old. Maybe my prioirities have changed. I am not sure.
What I have learned today is that by giving up expectations, it opens the door to new experiences. It makes things less stressful. Hard to be disappointed when you have no expectations.
Okay, I think that sounds a little more cynical than I intended. I have had many, many wonderful St Pat's celebrations. I was actually invited to what I am sure will be a very jolly celebration tonight. But I am choosing to do something else for several reasons: it is in support of a good friend, it is something I truly enjoy and it is what I want to do. Not to say I don't want to go to the jolly celebration. I do. But as oft happens in life, conflicts arise. Choices must be made. And expectations must be at least adjusted.
So, it is a good day to give up expectations. I expect, however, that you will agree and support me in my non-expectant state.
Happy Saint Patrick's Day, by the way.