I find myself going to the refrigerator quite often, opening the door and just standing there looking. I appreciate that the light comes on automatically as if to guide my way. I stare and wonder what to eat or drink. Sometimes I am not even hungry. The answer. I think I am looking for the answer to something. Is it the meaning of life? Is it my quest to feel fulfilled? Is it just plain boredom? Or am I really hungry?
Questions of my life. Opening the door, letting the cool air wash over me. So many temptations yet so little I want at that particular moment. Choices to make: whether to indulge or adhere to my disciplined diet. Sometimes I close the door and walk away only to find myself going back and looking again. It can be an endless cycle sometimes. And sometimes I just drink water, sometimes I make a sandwich, sometimes I take inventory and sometimes I just do nothing again.
Today as I found myself doing this, I realized this is how I live my life: looking for answers. Often, like the in the fridge, I don't find the answer I am looking for...probably because it is not there. Where is it? What will fill this empty feeling? Well, I expect the answer is within myself. The answer lies within. It's not in the fridge or anywhere else outside myself. There may be clues outside, or even in the fridge, but The Answer is inside me, waiting for me to find it. So today I give up looking outside myself for The Answer. There's no place, you know, like home.