And while I'm on the subject, something else I need to wrap my head around is how I feel about giving gifts. Yes, it can be a dilemma. Christmas, birthdays, housewarmings, anniversaries, business, etc and so forth. A gift should be a "want to", not a "feel I have to." Yet, I want to give gifts where gifts are to be given. I struggle, though, over what to give, will it represent my feelings adequately, will it be cherished or end up at Goodwill? (I've had that happen). And what are these strings I'm attaching: like my gift, like me, recognize that I fulfilled my social obligation or that I really, really like you.
So many messages, mixed and subliminal, direct and clear, in every gift. Sometimes there are expectations of reciprocation, sometimes not. I tell myself that a gift is given and that is that. If there are strings attached, cut them. A gift is just that, a gift. It is token of someone's feelings and should be accepted as such. Ain't easy, but I'm giving up looking for meaning beyond. It's a gift, for heavens' sake.
And this is my gift to you. Do with it what you will, but remember, its from the heart.